Phrase Writers Group

At every U3A (University of the Third Age) Creative Writing meeting we are given (optional) homework, a subject or phrase to inspire a story or poem.

This week's subject -- A Structural Engineer's Secret

Friends donated their (first) names

Panto Pirates stories:
A Practical Panto Pirate Primer (18 January 2023)
A tale of pantomime pirates and their team building treasure hunt

The Perfect Storm (21 September 2023)
The Panto Pirates first rehearsal

The Structural Engineer’s Secret (5 October 2023)
The Panto Pirates do set design

Oh Yes You Can (14 November 2024)
The Panto Pirates first performance

The saga continues

THE STRUCTURAL ENGINEER’S SECRET

And the winners are...

Tommy & James were sitting in their usual corner table in the Village Inn. Always a good spot for the weekly pub quizzers, away from prying eyes.

They had walked past friends on other teams, high fiving their regular competitors. But not today.

No ill feeling that they won so often. Inspired others to try harder; indeed, the standard of teams and questions had improved.

The two friends were waiting for their colleagues from the annual village pantomime. Cathryn and Michelle were villagers, and the boys bubbly buccaneers. Tonight was about set design, exercising their job skills.

Tommy was a carpenter. James an electrician, or Sparky. A welcome change from Jim Lad, a phrase routinely repeated, during rehearsals and just about everywhere endlessly.

Michelle and Cathryn joined them, carrying equally welcome foaming brews. Michelle was an architect, and Cathryn a structural engineer. The difference in their jobs had been decided by James; applause and laws.

Michelle received applause for her designs; the engineer, electrician and carpenter relied on laws, both regulatory and physics to get their work done, with problem solving an integral part.

As their friends settled Tommy and James admired Michelle’s set design.

“This is your best yet” said James. “Lots of hidey holes for props.There’s more audience interaction, chucking buckets of tinsel and wrapped chocolates at them”.

“Arr Jim Lad” said Tommy, out of habit.

“Thanks” said Michelle, “though I’m sorry you’re missing your weekly quiz tonight. It’s the monthly grand prize too, isn’t it?”

“Oh Michelle Maid” said Tommy, adding “Polly is taking part so fingers crossed”.

Cathryn had also studied Michelle’s blueprints. “I love it. Lots of sliding walls, gates that open to different scenes and sets, and notes for lighting. Simplicity is key to structural engineering. And involving Tommy and James”.

“Gee Cathryn Chick” said Tommy. “You make it sound so easy. What’s your secret?”

“About five years at university, similar to Michelle becoming an architect. I suspect my main secret is the same as your’s and James’”.

“See Jim Lad, we learn from each other”.

“Building this set will cost us” said Catherine. “We can call in favours from businesses in the village, but we’ll need a sturdy rolled steel joist at least”.

“Wot?” asked James.

“RSJ Jim Lad”.

“All told we require £250, for the set and costumes. Any ideas?”

A few minutes of concentrated thinking, head scratching, to no avail. The silence was broken by a gleeful Polly arriving with a tray of drinks.

“We won” she said “with your help”.

Four brainy bonces turned with raised eyebrows.

“An unusual quiz, the answers being letters of the alphabet. I just wrote down what Tommy said. R, O, G, C, R, S, J. We won first prize, £250”.

When the cheers subsided Tommy’s experienced eyebrow elevated towards Catherine.

“My secret? Two essential life tools: WD-40 oil & Duct tape.
“If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40.
“If it shouldn't move and does, Duct tape”.