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Members of London's Serpentine Running Club are called 'Serpies'. This article was published in the club's magazine 'Serpentimes'

ROUND NORFOLK RELAY 2004

The Serpentine Running Club has a thing about relays. Whether it’s the relays after summer league 10K races, Green Belt or Welsh Castles, or even the drinks round relays at The Larrik pub.

But Round Norfolk Relay (RNR) is something else. A 190 mile course with 17 stages, where teams start early on Saturday and keep running through the night till they finish sometime Sunday morning.

But that’s not all. Each Serpie runner has another Serpie providing cycle support. And at night there’s a third Serpie driving behind the runner and cyclist for the duration of the stage. And most of the cyclists and drivers also run their own stage as well.

This year we had two teams. The logistics for ensuring everyone was at the right stage and cyclists in place were handled by Ian and Nadya. They also organised transport and accommodation. And yes, they too ran the odd stage and did some cycling!

Having read this far, maybe you’d like to take part next year? Read on.

GETTING THERE
Some people made their own arrangements. For the rest of us the club hired people carriers. It was pot luck as to who you shared with. Robin’s cup of joy overflowed as being in close proximity with “five beautiful women”. My people carrier had three ladies -- a case of less is more, or so they said!

FOOD
Seasoned Serpies are aware how low food is on the list of priorities. Yeah, right.

Each vehicle had enough food for the occupants, seconds, thirds and sufficient left over for Wednesday night club runners.

Our vehicle was tasked (I hate that word but the editor’s husband did the tasking and I’m scared of both of them) with providing the Saturday evening meal. So each of us brought enough pasta and sauce for everyone, causing regional shortages of penne pasta. And a few dozen scones. Jules did her level best to eat them in advance but a few escaped her mitts.

CYCLING
This introduced a few challenges. Road cycling is one thing, but sandy tracks or beaches is another matter. More than one intrepid cyclist was left behind by more nimble runners.

The night can disorient runners as to their pace and the distance run. Cyclists provide a welcome diversion, chatting to the runners. As one of the drivers I blessed the inventor of automatic gears. Driving behind a runner for 20 miles with a manual clutch would have been painful!

CALLS OF NATURE
(dis)Comfort breaks are a major part of being a Serpie. For some it’s the consequences of serial quarts of best bitter in The Larrik pub on Wednesday nights, though male Serpies tend to limit their intake to halves of shandy.

But come runs in the countryside, and the Serpie townies learn why hedges were invented. Some Serpies learn the hard way there’s more to a hedge than a bit of privet-cy.

When Mel had a close encounter with a nettle, she discovered that dock leaves are more than nature’s loo paper. Andy realised, with hindsight, the versatility of multi-section broadsheet newspapers early on a Sunday morning. And during his 20 mile midnight run, Chris was blessed with Jules keeping his mind on the road.

TIME KEEPING
It’s said that if you’re on time for a meeting, then you are late. Hence the importance that Serpies attach to being early. Most of them that is. Richard and his team took this to heart for their post midnight run.

They forsook the pleasure of an Over 30s Disco at their hotel and a chance glance to enhance romance perchance at a dance (not in France). Mentally fit and having honed their bodies to a state of physical perfection, they were ready in the early hours of Sunday morning.

Mission Control rang. “You’re not needed yet”. They stood down their state of alertness, rested an hour and then repeated their mental and physical tuning techniques. Ready and poised like springs once more. Mission Control was back on the bat phone. “You can relax a while yet”. Premier athletes’ performance can be affected by this stop/start activity.

A further hour on and Richard knew his team were hungry to get the road underfoot. This was it. Locking the hotel door and leaving the keys behind they set off for the changeover in Thetford (where Dad’s Army was filmed). Mission Control was back on the blower ... and a few cold hours later, Richard’s team finally began their stage.

Spare a thought for a runner from another club. After a superb run she arrived at the changeover ... and waited ... and waited, for at least half an hour, before she could hand the baton over.

ACCOMMODATION
Eskimos keep warm in the time honoured way. But lighting a fire in the ice box that was our caravan may well have affected our deposit.

As a self-confessed snorer I was despatched to the remaining bedroom -- the others were already filled with sleeping Serpies. This left Chris with Mel and Jules, two unchaperoned lady Serpies. Clearly club standards are slipping.

Chris did what anyone would have done following the elation of a 20 mile midnight run and promptly fell asleep. After a suitable pause, he joined me in synchronised snoring. I don’t know about the earth moving, but come the morning the caravan had shifted into a different postal zone.

Three hours later and, partially rested, Chris and I were woken from our slumbers by Jules and Mel. They looked shattered. Presumably they had been to that Over 30s Disco.

WAS IT WORTH IT?
During the night stage we lost Susannah with Mel on cycle support. Thankfully we found them soon afterwards, but it was the worst part of the weekend.

For the runners there was the exhilaration of the Serpie “wall of sound” en route and when they finished a stage, and glorious scenery tempered with night running.

A gorgeous sunset over bales of hay in the fields, that our resident photographer missed! A chip shop in the middle of nowhere without the facilities to make a cup of tea.

Nadya, a one-woman running club; running, organising, cycling, checking times, cycling (again!), unflappable since the start of the race, eating crab sandwiches -- her magic potion. Crab scones anyone?

The relentless stamina, patience, humour and good will of too many Serpies to mention.

And the Norfolk runner who summed it all up with “I likes running, I do”.